What does God say about Forgiveness?

Forgiveness was (by far) the #1 topic submitted for our current sermon series.  Obviously, living in a fallen, sinful, depraved world means we will be hurt by other people AND we will invariably hurt others.  Jesus told His followers near the end of John 16: "In this world you will have trouble."

The challenge (and responsibility) facing every follower of Christ is responding to "the trouble" of life in a manner that honors and glorifies God.  Regardless of how difficult it may be, the truth is every person who is "in Christ" has a God-given responsibility to forgive others. (listen/watch sermon)

During the message I highlighted four common myths concerning forgiveness:
    Myth #1: Forgiveness can be proven by our feelings
    Myth #2: Forgiveness means forgetting
    Myth #3: Forgiveness will "make it all better"
    Myth #4: There is a limit to forgiveness

Even though I didn't have time to address it in the message, there is one very prevalent myth that needs to be debunked.  In fact, I've heard it pop-up in conversations probably a half-dozen times just this past week.  It goes something like this: "I'm trying to work through this forgiveness thing, but I just can't forgive myself."

Many people (Christian or not) stress this idea of "forgiving yourself."  Unfortunately, it just isn't biblical.  In fact, the Bible says nothing about forgiving yourself.  We see two forms (and only two forms) of forgiveness presented very clearly in the Bible.  Ephesians 4:32 clearly describes both forms: (1) God in Christ forgives us; (2) we must forgive others.  There is nothing about internal forgiveness of "forgiving ourselves."

Where did this notion of "forgiving yourself" come from?  I don't have any "proof" or "sources" to support this explanation (so I would have gotten at least one grade deduction in seminary) but it undoubtedly originated from secular psychology.  Now, I'm not trying to throw secular psychology "under the bus." (It is what it is.)  Truth be told, they've done the best they can with what they have to work with.  Just as we should expect a "lost" person (without Christ) to live like a lost person, we should expect psychology (without Christ and His forgiveness) to try and solve complex problems of life from a man-centered approach rather than a God-centered approach.  Secular psychologists are operating without the forgiveness of God as the basis for their work, so all they have to work with is the forgiveness of "man." Hence, the only option is "forgive yourself."

Unfortunately, this same line of thinking has carried over into the church because "hey, those are the professionals, right?"  We even have well-intentioned Christians who have tried to pull verses out of the Bible to support "forgiving yourself" and in doing so promptly failed Bible Study Methods 101 (since I've already mentioned seminary once in this article).

If you're struggling with this unrealistic need to "forgive yourself" here are a few nuggets of truth to help you move past that point:

    (1) Understand God alone forgives sin

The Pharisees and scribes understood this truth very well in Mark 2.  If we could "forgive ourselves" there would be no need for Christ's sacrifice.  When we forgive others we forgive the offense made against us, with God's forgiveness of us serving as an example to follow.  We do not forgive their sin.


    (2) Acknowledge your great need for God's forgiveness

Often times, people who struggle with this idea of "forgiving themselves" have difficulty accepting their own sinful nature and total depravity before God.  They refuse to accept the fact that they are "that bad."  In reality, we are all far worse than we could ever understand.  (read more about that here)

The Bible teaches there is "no one righteous, not even one...there is no one who seeks God." (first in Psalm 14 and then repeated in Romans 3 ...... when both Old and New Testaments repeat the same point we better pay attention)

We must get past this "self-righteous" view of "I can't believe I did something so horrible."  Believe it and then......



    (3) Rest in God's complete redemption

We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; we all need a Savior; we were all dead in our trespasses and sin.... BUT God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:4-5).

Ephesians 1:7 states, "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace," (ESV)

People often feel the need to try and "forgive themselves" because they still feel badly or still feel the regrets of sinful living.  Remember myth #1!  Forgiveness cannot be proven by our feelings.  We must dwell on truth.  The truth is, for those "in Christ," there is therefore now NO condemnation! (Romans 8:1)

Romans chapter 8 (the entire chapter) was one of the first major sections of Scripture I set out to memorize many years ago.  I'm so thankful that a wise mentor of mine pointed me to that chapter because I've clung to it's truth over and over and over again.

When the flaming darts of the evil one come flying in your direction trying to deceive you into thinking you're not forgiven, remember your shield of faith. (Ephesians 6:16)  Our faith must be firmly planted on truth: There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!  No "self forgiveness" required!